Short jokes
What’s a cannibal's favorite takeaway shop?
The orphanage.
Mom: I'm going to the shop. If someone is at the door, don't open it.
Me: Ok.
*Ring*
Me: Opens the door.
Oh sh*t!
Mom: Gets flip flop.
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
Why did the person take crayons to the bedroom?
To draw the curtains.
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?
Because he is in a prison cell.
Pee.
My wife left me and took the kids.
Fennec users lmao.
I like pie.
I think my penis has facial recognition.
I'm just happy no idiots are calling these people fat-phobic.
Why do fat cows eat fat cows? Because I wrote this in America.
How do you punish a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Me playing a game...
What did God just stop? Are hearts cause we didn't kill each other.
Like if that was good.
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
...Full!
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex?
It'll forever be a mystery because the victims [are] too young to scream his name.
Going to church, you don't think you are Christian.
Sleeping with ten men, you don't think you are straight.
Dating a girl and studying mathematics, both give a headache.