Short jokes
What to say to a single guy who's insulting you: "Shut up, you horny virgin!"
Why did the condom cross the road?
Because he was pissed off.
What is the difference between the assassination of César and the assassination of Jesus?
They were both killed by Romans.
Mom told me drugs are my enemies.
Jesus said to like your enemies.
Yay, I can like drugs then!
NASA equals nugget and sh*t, amateur.
What was Jesus scared of the most?
Snails.
What was Jesus's favorite food?
Answer: Snails
How did Jesus kill himself?
He fell from his bike.
How many times did he die?
Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
What's the grossest mission NASA could do?
Probing Uranus.
I love murder shows... wish me luck cause I'm kinda hoping to be on one one day.
What did the cactus look like with his tuxedo on?
Sharp! 🤣
What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!
How does NASA fart?
They fart with their ass-teroids.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.
Five years later, he came back and left again.
I sat down and wrote a joke.
Today sucked. My friend fell off a cliff, and I went to jail.
I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.
I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.