Short jokes
A man said his bars are lit. I said no, because mine are fire.
Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"
Mister: No, you shit head.
Boy: Why? :(
Mister: Because I'm not your dad.
If your hot dog taste like a piece of wood, who you gonna call?
GHOST MUSTERD
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."
So funny hahaha this is why I don't have friends :(
What can change color and get beat up?
You.
Me: 911, I just killed someone.
Cops: Cool, we will not come.
Me: Why?
Cops: Don't admit a crime.
Phones: *Bang Bang*
Me: Well, that was 2 crimes done.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Yo mama is so fat, she couldn't even fit through the rabbit hole at first because she ate like a damn pig last night when we had dinner.
Where does Kristen Stewart get her virginity from? She gets it from her mama and papa.
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
I have a taste for some roast duck until the feathers will pop right out and say, "Quack, quack."
Why can't an orphan be a bully? Because they don't have parents.
Why do people not adhere to the corona measures?
Because they hate their lives and want to die.
Why can orphans go to Thacker Jewelry?
They love to see the whole family.
So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.
What do you say to a depressed person?
"I like ya cut, G."
DAD: I'm bringing your toys to the orphanage.
SON: Why?
DAD: You're going to need them.
Can a cook and clean for real? No, I do not want no rabbit hare in my house.
Where do rabbits sleep?
In the junkyard outside.