Short jokes
In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?
Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.
Roses are red, I am very cool, You, on the other hand, Need to drown yourself in a pool.
Children in the dark make mistakes.
Mistakes in the dark make children.
Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.
Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.
My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.
What do you get when you mix a fly and a rabbit?
Bugs Bunny!
What do you get when you cross a turkey and a centipede?
Drumsticks for everyone!
Nope, should've gone to Specsavers.
Let me just remove my finger from your bottom.
Thank you, nurse!
Would you mind just peeing into this cup, please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
And the winner of the Tour de France is awarded, as ever, with the yellow jersey.
To remind him what color his piss is meant to be.
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
Well, we've removed all of the excess fat from your body, and all that's left, I'm afraid, is the wig, Mrs. Trump.
Look! An ancient African city!
From the makers of Timbukone...
Guys, add me in Discord.
Yo forehead so angled, your mom could walk up.