Short jokes
Brother: Your nuts!
Sister: What do you mean? You're the one that has the nuts!
Why do G-Unit and C-Unit stand for? Gorilla unit and chimpanzee unit.
Where do gorillas get all the "pussy" from? The strip club, which is called "Poker Kong Night."
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
Kid: Hi Mum!
Mum: Hi, Loser!
Kid: Why?
Mum: You loser, why? Hahaha!
Kid: Waaaaaaa!
I know this is not funny, but who cares?
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.
Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.
My teacher: Time can't count.
Me: Every second counts.
My teacher: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
I told Hellen Keller it was a hair dryer, little did she know it was a Glock.
Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.
Why is it wrong to put a beef or turkey patty in a burger?
'Cause it's a ham-burger, isn't it?
Q: Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake.
What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
Thumb nails.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
Why do planets circle the sun?
'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?
"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"
Get it?