Short jokes
My sister lost two things today:
1: Her virginity.
2: Her job at the zoo.
If you're going to be a smart ass, you have to be smart, or you're just an ass.
You know I really love going to school and meeting my crush.
All I have to do is go to the Africa section.
Don't ever say your life is a joke because jokes are actually funny.
People in plays say that everyone's life is a drama, but mine's a tragedy.
Did you hear about the school shooting joke? Well, I won't tell you it's aimed at a younger audience.
Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?
Mike said: I don’t know, what?
Jon said: Kinder surprise.
What's fun to search for in investigation?
The Milky Way!
Your momma's so dumb, she took her driving lesson on a dinosaur.
Why don't lesbians like dick? Because they don't want their mouths looking like Jesus Christ's hands.
Your forehead is like my dad.
Non-existent.
What's the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
Why do Christmas trees like wheelchairs? Because they have kids.
Hi! I’m going back home.
I’m going to be busy having dinner soon. I have internet for Christmas 🎄 and I have some Christmas.
Mvccfffghhhhggv.
What did I do with the internet?
Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.
What did the bread say to the peanut butter? "I think your nuts."
Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.