Short jokes
I asked my orphan friend to come to my house. He said he was confused because he didn't know what that is.
You smell like you farted hard. A, B, Honor Roll, all F’s, you retarded!
Ever heard the saying white people can’t jump??
Well, I think that’s total bullshit. You should have seen us on 9/11!
What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?
He raped her.
The most confusing day of my life was when I found out my toaster was waterproof.
Robber 1: *gets shot in ass*
Robber 2: You have to shit in a bag for life lol.
Robber 1: What, the Tesco or Asda one?
A transgender woman with cancer of the tits only has to pay for half the operation.
I’d make a rape joke, but I don't wanna force that on you too.
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Boy: Your dick is so small, oh wait, you don't have one.
Older boy: UNO reverse card!
Why was the piano waiting at the front door?
Because it forgot which key to use!
Hey there, wanna buy some chromosomes?
Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?
'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!
That moment when you think the music is loud enough to fart and no one would notice, but then you realize that you have headphones on.
What did the bee say to the flower?
"Hey bud! When do you open?"
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
What did one ghost say to the other?
"Get a life!"
Don't worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head.
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
'Cause the players are always dribbling everywhere!