Short jokes
My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."
Little did I know it was just at prison.
Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
"Aww, it's a boy, let me cut off the ombelicul cored, sir, that's his penis!"
"It's a girl."
Are you a bowling ball? Because I want to stick 3 fingers in you.
Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the six, you be the nine.
Roses are red, Violets are twisted, You bend over, You're about to get fisted.
I'm jealous of your heart because it's pumping in you and I'm not.
What do they feed a gorilla in Paris?
Ape Suzettes.
How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.
What does a gorilla attorney study?
The law of the jungle.
#GOODBYEGWEN
What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.
How did Gertie Gorilla make the Playboy magazine?
She was ape-ril!
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
What is a gorilla's favorite cookie?
It's chocolate chimp.
I caught my wife having s*x with another guy.
I put a magnet in my butthole and made the teachers smell it.