Short jokes
Which way did the cow jump over the moon?
The Milky Way!
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
Happy was a cute hippo.
Happy sleeps in the water.
Happy walks on land.
Happy runs on Savannahs.
Happy swims in mud.
Happy takes a bath.
I got caught masturbating in the bath by my mum!
I said, "Mum, I’ll wash it as hard and fast as I want!"
"Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."
Caesar salad, Jack and Jill, little Johnny Koala,
Zebra, monkey, vegetables, bus, baa, bus.
Why did Ronald McDonald go to KFC to destroy them?
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
how do you cut of a hillbilly's dick?
kick his sister in the jaw
I have 206 bones in my body, but when I look at you, I have 207.
A bee said to his naughty son, "Honey, stop bee-ing abnormal and bee positive!"
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."
A basketball player walks into a strip club:
"Hi, I heard I could bounce some balls here?"