Short jokes
Why did the woman feel ugly?
A. Nobody would even rape her.
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
The lady says, "Come again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
I hate when my brother dates other people.
Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵
Why do ghosts go to bars?
For the boos!
Why does Michael Jackson like to shop at Walmart?
Little boys' pants are half off!
How do you say "Brazier" in German?
Stop 'em from floppin' (German accent)
Why did the butt let out a fart?
Answer: To wipe out humanity!
Why did the lil kid cut himself?
Answer: Because he was emo, HAHHHAHAHAHAAHHA!
Why do orphans live on the street?
They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.
How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.
My friends were the pilots on 9/11, they told me, "Bro, chill, it's just a prank!"
What were the terrorists on 9/11 thinking?
"We can't go over it." "Can't go under it." "We have to go through it!"
1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.
Harry Potter has an invisibility cloak, I have family.
I was just fine being bisexual... Now I’m gender fluid... great...
It would just be easier to be a gay guy, instead of a gender-fluid bisexual.
I went to the orphanage and yelled "your mama" jokes.
From your mom.
OWWWWWWWWWWW I JUST GOT A CUT ON MY BUTT. Oh wait, that’s always been there.
Lucas is bronze 1 in RL.