Short jokes
Can I get a Hoyah?
I like dicks... sporting goods.
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
What do you call an emo a cappella group?
Self harmony.
Another condom name is "Orphan's Home."
Fake emo: when I’m sad, I cut myself.
Real emo: same.
Fake emo: another piece of cake.
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"
Facial detection? More like racial detection.
Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.
What did a bee who was interested in philosophy say?
"To bee or not to bee."
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
Jokes about the poor aren't rich.
The girl in the picture has no ass.
In prison, they called me sweet cheeks.
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
Is it classed as down under if you eat out an Australian chick?
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
Your mum. That's all I need to say.