Short jokes
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
Me: You know your parents were very good people.
Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.
Me: I know, you're an orphan.
I said to the orphan, "Do you want me to take you to your family? Oh wait..."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
IBC.
IBC who?
I'll be seeing you later.
Your mom is so skinny, she eats Skinny Pop!
Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.
Q: Why don’t orphans have a personality?
A: They don’t have a person in reality!
My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room?"
"Islam it is."
Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?
Ask an orphan.
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
Why did Hitler stop playing Golf?
He kept getting stuck in the Bunker.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why are there adoption centers? Because it's a market for pedophiles.
I bet when you were born, the doctor looked away because of your virginity.
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
Why can’t Michael Jackson win a race?
Because he’s always coming in a lil’ behind.
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
Dogs can't operate MRI machines.
But cat scan!
Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."