Short jokes
What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?
They both be flying??
What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?
Wasted.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An im-pasta.
What do you call a flat cabbage?
A leaf pile.
A man walks into a bar and then out.
Floor on the road?
What did the turtle tell the man? To keep being 5G7T4IPK24O[\]TWERGWREWGRGR.
When the card declines on child insurance.
You're so poor, when a robber robs your house, they feel bad for you and just leave.
Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.
I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.
How's your dad?
What? I forgot he's still sleeping.
Why don't you take emo skydiving?
They cut the rope.
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
Why do terrorists like the Twin Towers?
It's the next thing they blow up.
Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?
So they will be wanted.
Bully: Your mom hates you.
Orphan: I don't have parents ;)
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.
But don't worry I think she was just joking.
Do you know Joe?
Joe mama, mama, a, a, mama, a, a, amam.