Shop jokes
A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."
Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."
Why did the Indian cross the road?
Because he opened a corner shop on the other side.
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
What's the difference between a UKIP voter and a shopping trolley?
Some shopping trolleys have minds of their own.
Where do walls shop?--Walmart.
Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.
Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
I feel bad for shopping carts. They're always being pushed around.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.
Where do orphans shop? Home Depot.
What do you call a man shopping? A half-grown carton of cheese.
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To get to the curry shop.
Poopy pants! Ha! Got 'em! Use Code Fred_5001 in the Fortnite item shop.
So, a person walked into a shop.
Shop guy: "Hey RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD."
This is REALLY funny.
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Thank you very much.
When the Mexican wanted to go shopping,
he went to Ja-mall.
Where do Down syndrome kids go shopping downtown?
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
Where do sheep go to shop? Shears.
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"