Shop jokes

If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.

A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun.

The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: "Shut up... you're next!"

I go to the shop and buy 2 pints of kimo.

I went to a seafood shop.

I pulled a muscle.

I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.

What's a pirate's favorite shop?

Arrrrrrrrgos.

Why are Muslims terrible at football?

Because every time they have a corner, they build a shop.

A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."

I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.

I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.

What is a carrot's favorite shop?

The wheelchair store.

Yo mama is so nasty, she buys sex toys at the second-hand shop.

The thing I don't like about shopping centers...

When you see one, you've seen a mall.

Where did the sheep get a haircut?

At the baa-baa shop.