"My wife is so crazy" said Beatem's McSmasher. "Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch "She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!" "You getting kicked out bro?" "Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor" "Is she one of them woke bitches?"
If you're ever bored, try scaring the shit out of an Asian to see their eyes open for the first time.
Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes they literally look this shit up just to complain
Shit if somebody invades America the Crips and the Bloods are gonna call a truce so that they can get the big toys out and call Geneva achievement. White women would ride into battle riding lions, tigers, and bears while claymore-strapped rhumbas swept the streets. There's a reason Putin keeps threatening to boom boom us with the boom booms and make you see x-rays before you go go. We have freaking cannibals still. Hell, we have more guns than people. Dodging bullets have become a rite of passage. Just look at how we raise our kids on caffeine and M16s playing Call of Duty. Then we send them into the warzone known as the American public education system with no weapons. No means to protect themselves other than with their fists. Here Timmy, fight off the bullets with your bare fist and hope you can zig-zag. Hell, the quiet kids in this country start dropping bodies just cause you teased them. The fuck you think's gonna happen when Timmy can't get his damn chicken nuggets and you took his internet out? Hell the gangs in America would no longer make their money off the drugs illegally. They'd be our medics and taking bets on kill shots. Don't even get me started on the unhinged millennials the moment they can't get their mood stabilizers. War crimes would become an art form and we'd run around like we playing Pokemon. GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! Americans would turn war crimes into an extreme sport while the military stands back and records it just so they can show the rest of the world the example of why not to fuck with us. Shit Geneva Convention would turn into a to-do list on every American household fridge. We take that shit so seriously we'd have comedy central sending Kevin Hart to tell us rules for engagement. Racism in America would be single-handedly by ended as Billy Bob and Tyrone high five because they think they just unlocked the super secret duck hunt level with foreign paratroopers. Shit somebody please threaten us with a good time. Invade the united states. Let us show you why the first color in our flag is red.
Man: how tall is a penguin?
Bartender: about three foot why?
Man: o shit the Bible bashing nuns I fucking hit one
Poor car
When you see a your mom. Me:bruh Her:are you serious right now bro Me:yeah no shit Her:*slaps me*
Boi ur forehead so big i can make a launchpad on that shit
Your mama is so ugly she doesn't have to flush the toilet. She already scared the shit out of it.
There was an exam music quiz question about gary glitter, now if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh turn over, you've got an hour" .. it's him..
shit my bad.. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids
What do you call a Pakie with a wooden leg?
Shit on a stick.
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening. "Sure honey! If you suck my dick! So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!" "Oh yeah, I forgot" says the father "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
Your mom is so fat when she skipped a meal the whole stock market crashed.
Your mom is so fat she tripped, and I didnβt even laugh. But the sidewalk cracked up.
Saw that shit on roblox .-.
What was Jesus' reaction when the first black person was born?
Holy shit, I burnt one.
Q: what do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit
A: idk
Me: I wouldnβt want to be with a shitmate. Shitmate: youβre so shitable . Me: Bring banana ice cream. Shitmate: never happening.
