Shes jokes

I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"

I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.

Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.

Shaenaya hates me, help! And she wants to suck off ******* and ****** and ***** and *****.

Yo mama so ugly that on Halloween she didn't get candy.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Not Sally.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.

"I see, I see." "Oh, do you see?" "I see 1st place looking at me." "Hi, don’t be shy, just say hi." She was shy, she didn’t say hi. Softball cheers.

Yo mama so ugly, when she entered the scare factory, she came out with a job application.

Yo mama so stupid, she went to the Super Bowl with a spoon!

What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?

Oh wait, I am because she's 10.

Why was your mom so into me?

'Cause she was the man.

My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

Why do people hate Velma now?

Because she joined the Dark Side.

Husband: My wife and I went to the beach today.

Husband: She was wearing a blue wetsuit.

Husband: The second we entered the beach,

Pedestrians: "TSUNAMI! TSUNAMI!"

My girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

I saw a girl with blond hair. She was sexy and beautiful. I thought she was the most hottest girl I ever saw, so I ran up to her feeling hot.

You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.

Yo mama is so dumb that she tried to climb Mountain Dew.