Shes jokes
My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.
Why can’t Helen Keller drive?
It’s because she’s dead.
My sister was hitting on my boyfriend. I'm 11, she's 9. She said, "Go f-ck yourself," so I said, "Okay, thanks for the idea!"
Trump goes to a bar and sees Hillary Clinton. He goes up to her and says, "Buy me a drink." She replies angrily, "Get your own drinks. What kind of a man asks a woman to buy him a drink?" Trump responds, "The kind that will grab you by the p***y."
Laila has 69 boobs, but that is 222 too many. One day, she went on 51st Street to meet Dr. X, who ate all her boobs, and now she's boobless :)
6922251 x 8 = 55378008. Put the calculator upside down.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
Orphan: Have you seen my mommy?
Person: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes?
Person: SON SON??? IS THAT YOU MY LOVE?
Orphan: MOTHER!
Person: Let's go home!
Orphan: Uhhhh
*She was never to be seen again*
You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.
Why are Helen Keller jokes so funny?
Because she’s blind and deaf.
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
Hey, math:
I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
Yo mama so fat and old, she's the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs!
Yo mama so fat, she doesn't need internet, because she's already WORLDWIDE!
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she's a woman.
My girlfriend said she's having a horrible time with her period. I ask her which one, but realize she's not talking about school...
We don't see each other very much.
If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"
Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"
Maude of ghostposter is a dumb Christian pussy-ass bitch. She's so fucking squeamish it's hilarious, although I hate her.