I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."
Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.
I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.
yo mama so fat when she jumped in the ocean the whales said we are family even though your fatter than me
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
Why did the feminist fail algebra?
She couldn’t solve inequalities.
Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."
Get a calculator.
Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.
Why did you and Sarah break up?
'Cause she cheetahed on me.
Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.
Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.
Yo mum's so dumb, she went to the library to find Facebook.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
Hey, if you've watched Twilight with Edward, Bella, and Jacob, then here's something for you.
Do you think Bella should have gotten with Jacob? I think she should have, ngl.
Your mom is so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign because it never said "go."
your mom is so fat that she doesn't need WiFi because she is worldwide.
your mums so fat when she stands on the scale it says to be continued
Why can't my grandma talk?
Because she's dead.
I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.
When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"
I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."
I asked the little German girl to rate our sex between 1-10. She kept crying and shouting "9!"
That's the best I've done so far.
