My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.
Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."
Yo mama so fat the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone no
What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.
I went to see my dentist, and she warned me it was going to hurt. Then, she told me she was having an affair with my husband. Good news though...the cleaning didn't hurt.
Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.
Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.
He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."
My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."
She died in a fire.
This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing: "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"
So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with, "I have two parrots as well, they are always praying, and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a Christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours."
They proceed to do so, and the lady's parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?" and the pastor's parrots reply with "Johnny, drop your beads and lift your heads, our prayers have been answered!"
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?
I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.
She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"
Why couldn't Sally get back up? Because she has no friends.
why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms
I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.
The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.
Yo mama so fat, when she took a picture of herself, her phone ran out of storage.
Yo mama so old, she was a waitress at the last supper.
Fat jokes and mom jokesš
1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."
2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. Heād have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.
3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."
4. Your mamaās so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!
5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."
6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
