Shes Jokes

Hillary Clinton is elected president, . . .

and on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."

She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that." The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."

She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."

On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."

Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it says "to be continued"

A boy asks his father:

What is politics?

Father answers:

It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business . Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.

Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.

Our maid is the working class.

Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future.

The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.

Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.

The next day his father asks him:

So, can you now explain to me what politics is?

The boy says:

Yes, it’s all become clear to me!

Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit.

my aunt used to say "slow and steady wins the race". she died in a fire.

Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

My girlfriend went to Tokyo and she died in the tsunami. Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean".

Yo mama so fat the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone no

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

I told the emo girl that I bet she’s jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.

my girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. fair enough. i gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.

i went to see my dentist and she warned me it was going to hurt. then she told me she was having an affair with my husband. good news though...the cleaning didnt hurt.

Yo mama such a slut she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant

Once a man goes to a restaurant.then, he was waiting until the waitress comes & tells him that they don't have food. he was grumpy but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped then she say to him:"good meal".

my grandma always said, slow and steady wins the race. she died in a fire.

This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing. Hi we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun? So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with I have two parrots as well, they are always praying and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours. They proceed to do so and the lady's parrots say hi we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun? and the pastors parrots reply with Johnny drop your beads and lift your heads our prayers have been answered.

My biology teacher told us “get out nice and sharp colored pencils”. Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself

I asked the librarian if they haad any books on anxiety. She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"

why couldnt sally get back up? because she has no friends

why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms

I walk in on my little sister when she was naked. The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother n law is going to be a very happy person.