Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She has no arms.
Why did ze cow cross the road?
yo watch his mum getting butchered she was an udder faliure
A girl said she liked dogs, I called her a bitch
If her internal clock can tick, she can sit on my dick.
If her internal clock can tock, she can sit on my cock.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him when he came home drunk?
Nothing... she couldn't tell.
Your mama so fat, she filled up Minecraft's block limit! lol XD
Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag?
She lost her ass playing poker...
Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of CRACK.
Me and my friends were talking. Then we started talking about our wives. I said, "So, I married a volcano for a wife. You never know when she will blow up."
One day, a man was walking in an alley when a crackhead attacks him. So the man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home. When he goes to his wife, she asks him if he saw her dad.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked across the floor, she fell through it.
Me: I call my girl Cinderella.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because she loves balls.
Yo mama so stupid, she brought weed to the highway. Then she realized, "I'm not stupid, I was just high as a bitch." She just got fucked so hard by her man, she thought she was high.
Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.
Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.
Your mum was so poor that she went to rob the bank, but she left because she couldn't find the cameras. She left her son, and the security [girl] gave him the camera.
There is a young lady.
She is beautiful.
She got much vote.
But she speaks very fast.
Does she think she looks smart doing that?
She makes me feel bad.
What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?
If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.
My wife found a rock and asked if it was expensive, and I said it "leavarite". She said, "Is that expensive?" and I told her, "Leave it right there."
