She jokes

The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.

I asked my mother about her mom.

She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.

One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.

After a minute, a boy stands up.

The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.

The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."

Did you know Hellen Keller has a pool?

Neither did she.

My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.

She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,

"It didn't work out."

She told me to be more specific, so I said,

"I just told you, she didn't exercise."

Yo mamma so fat that she like that ocean, we haven't even explored 5% of her yet.

Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?

A: So she can moan with the other.

My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.

Meya eats meat all her sins is go off when she eat meat.

It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.

I was watching The Conjuring with an emo person. She said she likes the part where the girl was hanging. I said, "Why? Because you wish it were you?"

Yo Momma so slutty she uses a SpaceX rocket as a dildo.

My girlfriend accuse me of cheating. I asked her what was I supposed to do? She was just lying naked she said just do the damn autopsy.

Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.

Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.

So, Johnny was in kindergarten, and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC's. So he goes home and asks his mom, who's cooking, "What's the first letter of the ABC's?" He asks, and his mom responds with "SHUT UP... I'M COOKING!"

So then he walks to his sister, who's singing in the shower, and asks her, "What's the 2nd letter of the ABC's?" She responds with "I'm ready to go, I'm ready to go!" Then he walks over to his brother, who's watching Batman, and asks, "What's the 3rd letter of the ABC's?" and his brother responds with "Nu nu nu nu Batman!" Then he proceeds to walk to his dad, who's watching football, and asks, "Dad, what's the 4th letter of the ABC's?" and he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD!" Then he walks to his grandma, who's cooking buns, and asks her, "What's the 5th letter of the ABC's?" and she responds with "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!" Then Johnny proceeds to go to school the next day, and the teacher says to her class, "Can any of you tell me the first letter of the ABC's?" Johnny, of course, raises his hand, and the teacher calls on him. Then he says, "SHUT UP I'M COOKING!" Then the teacher raises and eyebrow and says, "Young man, are you ready to go to the principal's office?" Then he proceeds to say, "I'm ready to go, I'm ready to go!" and he walks to the principal's office. Then she says, "What's your name, son?" He responds with "Nu nu nu nu Batman!" Then the principal asks, "How many spankin's, boy?!" He responds with "95 HIT EM HARD!" and after that, he runs out of the principal's office while yelling "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!"

Yo mama so fat, she stepped on earth and the earth cracked.

Little Johnny once was at a camp and asked his teacher if he could sleep with her because he was homesick, so the teacher said yes. A few seconds later, Little Johnny asked if he could run his finger in her bellybutton, and she said yes.

A few seconds later, she moaned and felt so good, but it was not his finger putting it down her bellybutton; it was his dick and her penis.

Yo mama is so fat.

When the 🌞 retired, she was eligible to take its place.

A Karen is so stupid, she can't even cross the hairline!

Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."