She jokes

Why do people hate Velma now?

Because she joined the Dark Side.

Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, she needed two phones.

Husband: My wife and I went to the beach today.

Husband: She was wearing a blue wetsuit.

Husband: The second we entered the beach,

Pedestrians: "TSUNAMI! TSUNAMI!"

My girlfriend asked me to hand her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.

Yo mama so fat and old, she is the reason the Great Depression happened.

I saw a girl with blond hair. She was sexy and beautiful. I thought she was the most hottest girl I ever saw, so I ran up to her feeling hot.

Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed three episodes of your favorite show.

So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.

Yo mama is so dumb that she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

Yo mama so fat that when she fell on the concrete, nobody laughed, but the concrete cracked up.

My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!

My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.

My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.

When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.

Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.

Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!

Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.