She jokes
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.
She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
Your mama's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it said, "Viewer discretion advised!"
What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?
I spy.
What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?
Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.
Memes
When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.
Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.
Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in 'em!
Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.
Everyone makes mistakes. Like my mom, she made a mistake 13 years ago.
Yo mama is so fat, when she was a spy, she was called "double obese."
Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.
My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!
My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.
My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.
My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.
My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.
When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
Your mama is so fat.
She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.
Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.
One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...
Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.