She jokes

If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:

So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.

Your mum is like a Golden Knight. She will still attack my tower with troops in the way, like Jude Porter.

My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.

A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk.

His wife was up waiting for him.

"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled.

He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."

I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.

The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.

She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"

If Eve sacrificed the human race for an apple, what would she do for a Klondike bar?

My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Glock, glock.

What does your mom say when she is working?

Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.

Leo is like a cloud... when she disappears, it's a beautiful day.

"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

A 10 year old girl reported to her friends that her 16 year old male babysitter was touching her inappropriately. He quickly lost his job as a babysitter.

A 10 year old boy reported to his friends that his 16 year old female babysitter was touching him inappropriately. She quickly became the most popular babysitter in town amongst boys.

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the shoe store, she needs to take their advice and get XXXXL.

A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"

Your mama is so fat that when she went to the scale, it said, "No elephants allowed!"

Yo mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his fingers, she was still there.

Yo mama so fat that when she went on the scale, it showed her phone number.

Yo mama so fat, when she walked in front of the TV, I missed 3 episodes.