She jokes

My sister has cows, and after 4 months, she said there was a mis-steak.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

Yo mama so fat that she walked in front of the TV, and I missed a whole episode of iCarly.

What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?

Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.

Q: Why can't a blonde call 911?

A: Because she can't find the 11.

Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."

First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!" SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?" HE: "I’m a butcher." SHE: "Perfect! I work with humans, I just kill them by cutting them up!"

HE: "So it's you in the newspaper?" SHE: "Yes, it was, wanna be next?" HE: "No!"

Yo mama so fat, she eat 60 Big Macs while singing "Badaaha."

A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."

My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.

Joe mama so fat when she went to the movies, she sat next to everybody.

Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time, please."

Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."

If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.

Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.

I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.

Yo mama so ugly... when she went to the haunted house... she came out... WITH A JOB APPLICATION!

Dear algebra,

I don't want to find your X. I don't know Y she left you.

A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.

The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.

After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.

Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"

Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?

Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.

Yo mama so fat, she can’t even fit in the living room!

Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?

She wipes with a Brillo pad.

Yo mama so poor, she used a KFC bucket as a rain hat.