She jokes

Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was little, she had to trick-or-treat by phone.

My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.

Why was the orphan so successful?

When they told him, "Go big or go home," he/she only had one option.

Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.

I ask the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

Yo mama so small that she tried to hike Mountain Dew.

My sister told me she liked Medusa.

I said, "Huh?"

My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.

Yo momma's so fat, she was the iceberg in the Titanic.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.

What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.

What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.

Why did your mom cross the road?

Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.

Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?

He thinks she should stand up for herself.

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

Yo mama so fat that she had to wear a yellow jacket and everyone shouted, "Taxi!"

Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?

So she can moan with her right hand.

Yo mama so fat, the last time she 90210 was on a scale.

Why did Elsa's dog run away?

Because she let it go!

You know why they call her Wonder Woman?

She's always wondering where she parked her invisible jet.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.