When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.
She Jokes
A blonde starts a new job at a local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission, so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.
The gentleman has a good look around before saying to the blonde, "It looks perfect.... But cargo space?" To which she instantly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, car only for road."
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
Yo mama so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.
Yo mama so fat, she was the asteroid that killed the dinos.
Yo mama so fat when she goes to the shoe store, she needs to take their advice and get XXXXL.
Yo mama so fat, she needs 17 iPhones to take a selfie.
When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.
Yo mama so fat that she would die before reaching the gates of heaven.
Yo mama so poor that when she went to KFC, she had to lick other people's fingers.
Yo mama so fat, she the reason Dino's became extinct.
Yo mama so disgusting that when she took a shower, the water turned into ditchwater.
Yo mama so disgusting, she hangs toilet paper to dry after she wiped with them.
Yo mama so fat that when she pooped, poop exploded everywhere!
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
Why did the woman cross the road?
What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."
Yo mama so short, when she tried sniffing cocaine, she couldn’t get high.
Your mama is so stupid, she put a ruler under her pillow to measure how long she slept.
Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.