Sexuality jokes
What do renovators and lesbians have in common?
They're both not interested in exposed wood, apparently.
I diddled for a total of 67 times. I am the ultra Gooner. My cum is everywhere. I am the goon master.
How do you stop a woman from choking?
Back up an inch.
How much semen can a gay man hold? A buttload.
What did one gay sperm say to the other? "You think we’ll find the egg and all this shit?"
A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"
Kurt Cobain said he wished he was gay.
That's why he married Courtney Love.
Your momma is so slutty, they hired her as a condom tester.
There's a saying that goes, "Only gay men know how to dress." Of course they know how to dress! They were in the closet!
Roses are red, violets are blue, feminist pussy stinks, and yours does too.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Don't touch the beds, they are sticky with white goo.
Did you hear about the pervert who couldn't decide whether he was into incest or necrophilia?
He killed his mom and then fucked her.
What is the best Catholic dating app?
Grinder.
Why is Marcus gay? Because he's gay.
The best and worst part about being bi:
Best: Double the love, double the fun.
Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.
Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.
Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.
A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.
I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".
If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".
If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".
Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.