Sexuality jokes
What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?
Your virginity.
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.
Why can't you be gay and in a wheelchair?
Because you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Why does Ezra Miller’s Flash run in a straight line in The Flash movie? Bro ain’t straight.
Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?
A: They couldn’t go straight.
So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
Yes, sir.
Four big guys and they grab on my thighs. Blow up my guts like the 4th of July. If they keep fuckin' my butt then I might just cry. Poop and semen sprayin' on my eyes.
He lick my dick and the cum start sprayin'. Charging up my dick I'ma go super saiyan. When he cum the fuckin' booty I don't do much playing. Then I whispered in his ear, like hey are you stayin'? He said yeah I'm not leavin'.
I guess he George Floyd, cause always leavin'. Not breathin' he chew on my dick like a baby. That's teathin' I'm fuckin' a nigga I think it's named Steven. Hawkin' f*ck him 'til he ain't walkin', dick stone-cold call him BBC. Austin It's a booty massacre when I visit him in Boston. Bought him new titties I don't care what they costin'.
Bitch, hop on the dick do a split. Shout out Lil Baby. My dick is as real as it gets, I'm not fuckin' on him if he don't have tits. I'm catchin' his balls like my name Kyle Bitz.
There's four Big guys, they're grabin' on my thighs. They blow my guts like the 4th of July. If he keep fuckin' my butt then I might cry. There's poop and semen sprayin' on my eyes.
Yes sir, that is a fact tho, take out my dick slip it in his asshole. Swinging my dick through the air like a lasso. Painted his face like Apollo Pocasso (ugh). But I'm not a very good artist, f*ck 'em all good 'til that. Nigga farted planted my seeds in his ass like a garden. The way I play with balls, you should call me James Harden.
Yeah, DigBar is elite, there's four big guys and I'm takin' their meat. I eat the boy's butt, Then I chase him with skeet. And I charge for booty, I promise DigBar Isn't cheap. And I count dudes when I sleep, not sheep, get up in my sheets. And I'm beatin' on my meat.
Bitch. We got four big guys and they grab on my thighs. And they gon' bust on my eyes.
How do cats masturbate? They lick they pussy.
The lines on the pride flag look pretty straight to me!
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
(Yes, I know God created the rainbow, not Jesus.)
Are you Shane Dawson?
Because I can be your pussy.
Why can't gays drive faster than 68 mph?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.
What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."
Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?
Because all they can do is mandate.
Gays: I like men.
Straight: I like women.
Bisexual: A hole is a hole.
I'm about to cum!
What is a card carrying lesbian feminist?
A carpet muncher who is a card carrying member of the National Organization For Women.