Sexual Activity jokes
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair. So, she told her sister, and her sister said that ain't nothing, mine's already eating bananas.
Did you ever receive an anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have an orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because they’re used to having nuts in their mouth.
I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.
What does a gay man that is a dumb blonde and who is a prostitute do after he sucks cock?
Spit out the feathers.
Kenny is a comfort snacker.
Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.
What's the difference between anal and oral sex? An and Or!
Little Johnny is walking around and peeks in his parents' room, catching them having sex. So he asks, "What are you guys doing?" and they reply, "Nothing, nothing! We're just, uh, making cake," and they send him away.
So he continues walking around, and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother's room. He walks in and catches his brother and his brother's girlfriend having sex and then asks him, "What are you guys doing?" and his brother yells, "Get out! We're making cake!"
So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says, "So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night, huh?" and she replies, "OMG! How'd you know!?" and Johnny replies, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."
I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"
Autoerotic asphyxiation because hanging in there can be hard.
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
If you got a crush and you are a 👧🏻 girl, let him lick 👅 your vagina.
Why does Darth Vader always choke people?
Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
So, if she gargles your cum, is that a jacuzzi daycare?
You've heard of anal sex.
You've heard of oral sex.
You've heard of genital sex.
But have you ever heard of NASAL SEX?
I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.
Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.
What’s the difference between masturbation and brain damage?
After a few strokes, there’s no going back.