What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
Autoerotic asphyxiation because hanging in there can be hard.
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
Why does Darth Vader always choke people?
Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.
I'd make a masturbation joke.
But they always get out of hand.
What do they call me when I jack off?
Pulled pork.
Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because they’re used to having nuts in their mouth.
Kenny is a comfort snacker.
Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.
So, if she gargles your cum, is that a jacuzzi daycare?
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your cock into a girl's mouth.
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
Oh, yeah! FRESHFRY fucked a boy!
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
You've heard of anal sex.
You've heard of oral sex.
You've heard of genital sex.
But have you ever heard of NASAL SEX?
Getting ready for gangbang.
I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.
What do you call gay men receiving anonymous blowjobs at the glory holes inside an adult bookstore?
Norwegian massage.
Day 70 without sex, my doctor asked me, "Are you sexually active?" I said, "Why, what you tryna do?"
I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.
So I ended up doing the YMCA.
What's the best part of having sex with a baby?
Deep throat and anal at the same time.
