Sex jokes
Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?
Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.
Why is Santa always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
It ain't always easy having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a female. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.
What is 6.9?
A beautiful thing ruined by a period.
A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moral, religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons can still be a cocksucker, so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons?
I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.
What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?
The rooster says... "cock-a-doodle-doo." The prostitute says... "any cock will do."
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?
At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jill said yes, took off her dress, and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pills, and now they have a son.
Men wake up with a boner.
Women wake up yawning.
Coincidence?
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blowjob.
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
How do you make it hard for a rapist who is trying to rape you? Rub it.
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!
What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
What’s black, white, and red all over?
An ethnic orgy.