Sex jokes
They'll never do reverse cowgirl because you never turn your back on family.
you.
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
When I die, I want my body to be cremated.
And fucked! Fucked really hard, papí!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it's too long." Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you'll never get it."
Why are feminists always against men?
Because men can piss with something that they can't: piss with dicks.
Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?
Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.
Why is Santa always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
It ain't always easy having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a female. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.
How do you make it hard for a rapist who is trying to rape you? Rub it.
What is 6.9?
A beautiful thing ruined by a period.
What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?
The rooster says... "cock-a-doodle-doo." The prostitute says... "any cock will do."
A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moral, religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons can still be a cocksucker, so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons?
I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?
At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jill said yes, took off her dress, and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pills, and now they have a son.
Men wake up with a boner.
Women wake up yawning.
Coincidence?
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blowjob.