Sex jokes

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?

Suck its cock.

Vagina?

You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rapper with erectile dysfunction.

So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?

I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"

Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?

But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!

Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.

A man ate a bee to mechanical sexting, but he was to be, uh, sex. Bee vagina penis, he want sex but [is] dumb.

What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?

Suck a big cock.

What is the origin of the glory hole?

The origins can be found in San Francisco, California, where historians claim that a meat thermometer was sticking out of a hole from both sides, especially the divider between bathroom stalls inside the men's restroom used for an anonymous massage for gay men by gay men in San Francisco, CA, in the Wild West.

When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.

Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.

I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.

Just cum.

Official orgasm donor.

How can you get free butt plants? Just get your man to fill your butt with natural juices.

Huh, I’m pregnant again. Must be something in the air.

Yeah, your legs.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I fucked a chimpanzee behind my local zoo.

I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.

My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.

You can't YEE your last HAW!

But I put my BALLS in ur JAW.

There are multiple. That’s the joke.

Go fuck yourself, cause I doubt anyone else will. 💅

I tried to have phone sex once.

But the holes were too small.