New Sex Jokes - Page 22 - Worst Jokes Ever

What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.

What's funny about sex? I don't get it!

What’s the best thing about midgets??

They don’t need to bend while giving blowjobs.

What’s the best thing about a blowjob?

The silence.

What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.

It’s almost take her to Spirit Halloween, and then rail her in a spooky mask season.

Me: What are we doing in HPE?

Friend: Fitness.

Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.

What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?

A misfit.

I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.

My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"

So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."

What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?

I beat both of them.

What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.

What did the woman say to the man?

"Stop."

What did the man do?

Keep going.

FUCK MEN IN THE ARSE

The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”

Then she said that's true.

So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"

Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"

Can you imagine The Count from Sesame Street having sex? "1 orgasm..., 2 orgasm..., 3 orgasm..., ah ah ah!"

What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?

They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.

A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"

Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"

The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"

Someone walks up to his dad and says, "Dad, what’s the difference between potentiality and reality?" Soo ok, the dad says to the son, "Go ask your mother, sister, and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for $1,000,000." So the son comes back 5 minutes later and said, "Dad, they all said they would sleep with the postman." So, son, potentially, we have a million dollars, but in reality, we have two sluts and a gay one."