Sex jokes
So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]
I like porn a lot. I was wondering if you guys can talk to me.
What's a native chick say after sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
She's a 10, but she doesn't like sex.
Why did the pervert cross the road?
'Cause he was stuck to the chicken.
Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.
I don’t have another talking stage in me. 🤦🏿♂️ Do you squirt, and is your BD dead? 😭
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because they’re used to having nuts in their mouth.
*having sex on lexapro*
Her: Cum for me, baby!
Me: I'm trying!
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."
What do my cock and money have in common?
Your mom.
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. 𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓭𝓲𝓮.
I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.
As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."
Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!
Remember, the confession booth is not a glory hole.
My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.
I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.