You couldn't spit out a good sentence, even if you ate a bowl of alphabet soup.
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
Is Google a girl or a boy?
Obviously a girl, because it won't let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence.
I went shopping, and then to the hospital, and then to bed, and then I promised to only say "and" once in a sentence.
The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
How do you put "blonde" and "duh" in the same sentence? Just say, "Blondes are dumb."
What's thick, long, hard, and has cum in it?
Cucumber. Lol. I love the way you think.
Say "I'm a man" after every sentence.
You walk into a bar. (I'm a man.) You find a girl. (I'm a man.) You take her home. (I'm a man.) She whispers in your ear. (I'm a man.)
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
Some of you people on here are complete incels and need to learn how to spell and properly construct simplistic grammatical sentences that actually make sense.
I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
Finish the sentence.
Salt and Vi.....
Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."
First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."
She replies, "Really original."
Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."
She replies, "Ew, gross."
Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."
Winner dog 3.
JAJAJA
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
