Sentence jokes
Some of you people on here are complete incels and need to learn how to spell and properly construct simplistic grammatical sentences that actually make sense.
I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
Finish the sentence.
Salt and Vi.....
Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."
First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."
She replies, "Really original."
Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."
She replies, "Ew, gross."
Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."
Winner dog 3.
JAJAJA
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
Yo' mama is so stanky, her Sure deodorant got confused and her Secret deodorant told on her.
How can you tell if Google is a girl?
It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!
Some people think "prison" is one word, but to robbers, it's a whole sentence.
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy, ‘Darling, how does my dick taste?’”
One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"
A single sentence walks into a bar.
The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"
I said, "Sexy."
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
I was talking to my Welsh friend the other day, and he suddenly started talking Welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke.
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.