Self jokes
I'm so good at talking to myself but not to others.
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
Why do most orphans cook for themselves?
They don't have a home cook.
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
A self-raising flower.
What do you call a horny emo who practices self-control?
An edgelord.
Why do people want their grass to be emo?
So the grass will cut itself.
Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.
Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.
Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.
Amber: Fine!!!!!
Gwen, just take Tj as your boyfriend. Gah, just do it so he won't kill himself! Prince will be fine without you!
Apex Legends: exists.
Titanfall fandom: (Literally on fire and at war with itself) "Everything is fine."
I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
You are the joke.
What's your favorite type of flour?
Don't know.
Mines self-raising.
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.
Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?
Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.
Store owner: But still, why?
Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.
Store owner: Oh, I get it now!
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."
How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope they hung themself in...
If you want a joke, look at yourself in the mirror!
I didn’t eat breakfast because I’m starving myself.
I was watching T-Series and I thought to myself, "Man, this sucks!" My sister watches James Charles, and he always says, "That's T-Series." So is it him? SUB TO PEWDIEPIE! UNSUB TO T-SERIES! THEY SUCK!