Self jokes
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
A self-raising flower.
A blonde crashes an airplane.
Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?
Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.
Officer: *face palms self*
Also officer: Here's your sign.
Yourself.
Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?
Because she wanted to join the Brownies.
Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?
He couldn’t stand up for himself.
My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."
So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.
I love myself.
How do you know all suicide bombers self-identify as being old?
They are all boomers in the end.
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.
I am funny.
How do emo bands prepare for their shows?
They self-harmonize.
1. just feeling sad. 2. depression. 3. self harm. 4. suicide.
Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza?
It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before it's cool.
Is skin picking self-harm?
Cause I'm red all over without a razor.
Sister, you're ugly.
Other sister: I'm not your reflection.
PS. Sorry if it is not funny.
Among Us players after saying "Self Report!" to the police officers who find a dead body in their basement.
I looked in the mirror.
If you don’t know what introspection is, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
His gas bill was too high.