Self jokes

Like this,

it will give you good luck. See for yourself!

This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.

I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.

I'm not a failure. Suuuurrrre.

Look at your left hand, now look at your right hand, and tell yourself, "Which hand do you cheat with?"

Wanking.

Have you ever heard of emo pizza?

It cuts itself!

Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?

Because she wanted to join the Brownies.

The match: "Ur my match." The thighs: "You light me up."

I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but thankfully, I turned myself around.

What is a self-harm person's favorite game?

Fruit Ninja.

What do you do when you see a kid alone? You beat them up and say, "It was self-defense!"

Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?

Because everything they do is in vein.

Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".

When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.

1. just feeling sad. 2. depression. 3. self harm. 4. suicide.

I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.

Why did Hitler kill himself?

His gas bill was too high.