Self jokes
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.
I’m a paki nonse.
My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."
So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.
How do emo bands prepare for their shows?
They self-harmonize.
What's great about an emo pizza?
It cuts itself. Yay!
LOLOL
Among Us players after saying "Self Report!" to the police officers who find a dead body in their basement.
I used to be a man trapped in a woman’s body. But then I was born.
When you're fucking your boss's daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.
I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?
Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!
I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.
I looked in the mirror.
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
It’s so sad because Stephen Hawking can’t even stand up for himself after all these mean jokes.
I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.
If an orphan took a photo, what would it be called?
A self-me.
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!