Self Jokes

Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.

A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.

There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.

Why does an orphan play mum and dad?

'Cause they need self-love.

It’s so sad because Stephen Hawking can’t even stand up for himself after all these mean jokes.

ok

The image shows Donald Trump staring directly at the camera with a serious expression and supermarket shelves in the background. The text on the image reads: "Me staring directly into the Walmart self checkout camera as I scan my nutsack as a bag of onions."

Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.

Unlike the Americans, Hitler knew when to kill himself.

Why did people bully Steven Hawking?

Because he couldn't stand up for himself.

Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?

Because she wanted to join the Brownies.

These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.

My sister was hitting on my boyfriend. I'm 11, she's 9. She said, "Go f-ck yourself," so I said, "Okay, thanks for the idea!"

Stephen Hawking did not die; he deleted himself.

Dear Gwen, you are not a faker, nor liar, nor loser!

And the people that are bothering you are just dumb, stupid, bored, and need to get a fricking life instead! Don't hurt yourself because of these comments, to be honest, you're really nice, kind, and mannered! There are more kind people than mean people, and I am one of them! Just live your life and ignore Liv and the unknown guy, which is named Greg! No need for all this drama!

Best, Tenya Bailey.

Someone was bullying Stephen, so I said, "Why do you not stand up for yourself?"

Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied?

'Cause they can’t stand up for themselves.

Wow, Aiden, maybe you've been mean to Tenya. She is hurting, close to killing herself, but hey, I can pick your ass since, ya know, that is what I do!