Self Jokes

Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?

He couldn’t stand up for himself.

I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.

What do you call an orphan's family portrait?

A self-portrait.

LOLOL

A photo of a doll with light brown hair, blue eyes, a wide nose and a slightly unsettling smile. The text reads "When you catch a glimpse of yourself in the self checkout camera."

If an orphan took a photo, what would it be called?

A self-me.

What flavor do you buy an orphan?

Self raising.

Yo mama is so ugly that when she turned on the TV, it changed channels by itself.

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

I unironically shit myself. I am so sorry.

What kind of flour do orphans use to make bread?

Self-raising.

A blonde crashes an airplane.

Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?

Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.

Officer: *face palms self*

Also officer: Here's your sign.

It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.

"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!