Self Harm jokes
Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.
I wish my grass were emo, so it would cut itself.
"Self harm jokes aren't that deep."
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
An emo and a leaf fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
Why do emos love the winter? Because of the long sleeves.
My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.
She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.
The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!
Them: What's on your arm?
Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)
Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use.
What do you call a committee of emo kids?
A cutting board!
What is my most popular side of myself?
Suicide.
"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"
"Oh, that was the cat."
"We don't have a cat..."
"Oh..."
I wish my lawn was emo, so I would not have to cut it, it would cut itself.
Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.
Have you ever heard of emo pizza?
It cuts itself!
Red, black, blue. The colors of life.
Are you a knife? Because I want you.
An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.