Self Harm jokes

Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.

If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.

We all hear cause we cut ourselves, right? I mean, JK.

Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.

Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)

I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.

Are you a knife? Because damn, I want you inside of me ;)

I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.

My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like your striped red and tan gloves." And she asked, "Where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "Oh, I made the red stripes myself."

What's an emo person's least favorite game? Cut The Rope.

The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.

Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"

Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."

You learn from the best.

What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?

My clothes don't hang themselves...

I wish my lawn was emo. Then it would cut itself.

I once had an emo friend doing a course for the marines. He made the cut.

I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.

You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?

Both end up getting cut.

Why do emos get discounts at every shop? Because they have barcodes on their wrists.

Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.

I told the emo girl to stop playing fruit ninja on her wrists.