Self Harm jokes
I'm the joke.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.
I'm starting to wish my grass was emo.
Why?
So it would cut itself.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
How do you get a discount off groceries?
Scan the emo kid's wrists.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
Your momma! OHHHHH!
Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*
Them: What's on your arm?
Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)
I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, bleach.
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
I wish my lawn was emo. Then it would cut itself.
Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.
Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.
What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.
None.
Red, black, blue. The colors of life.
Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!
Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.