Self Harm jokes
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, bleach.
I wish my hair was depressed.
Cause then it would cut itself.
People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.
How do emo kids complement each other?
They say, "I like ya cuts g."
Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
I'm starting to wish my grass was emo.
Why?
So it would cut itself.
How do emos compliment each other?
They say, "I like your cuts g."
What’s the difference between an emo and grass? The grass doesn’t cut itself :D
What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉
Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.
Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.
When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.
What's great about an emo pizza?
It cuts itself. Yay!
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
How to complement a depressed person: "I like your cuts, g."
What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?
The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.
Go commit neck rope.
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.