Self Harm jokes

Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Depresso expresso.

JK, bleach.

My parents found my YT channel. I hate myself now, and I'm emotional.

SELF HARM

Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*

Suicide

What shouldn't you ask an emo?

"Do a wrist reveal."

One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.

"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"

I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I have 80 of 'em'.

What's an Emo's least favorite game?

Fruit Ninja.

Why did the emo trade his knife for a chainsaw?

- To win

If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.

My arm has a different texture than the rest of me, lol.

I wish my grass were emo, so it would cut itself.

I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.

I love teaching students

how to make them harm themselves.

What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?

The slash and burn tactic.

I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!

"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"

"Oh, that was the cat."

"We don't have a cat..."

"Oh..."

I saw this girl with blue hair and slapped her wrist and said, “NICE CUT G!”

Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!

Fruit, vegetables, my arms.