Self-esteem jokes

My cousin called me ugly.

Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.

When someone says: "You're a mistake."

Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."

What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?

Nothing.

Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?

Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.

Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?

When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"

You're so ugly that when you walk past the toilet, it flushes itself.

Your hairline is so bad that the Teen Titans gave up.

Your hairline is so far back you ain't got a fo'head, you got a five head!

I’m like an escalator; I always let people down.

I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.

You're so ugly your mirror shattered.

You're so ugly the densest told you to lay face down.

I cry when you leave the room. They're tears of joy because you have an ugly hairline.

Yo, hairline is a distraction to my barber because he wanna fix it so bad (because of how bad it looks).

Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

You're adopted, do you want to know why? Because you're so ugly.

"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.

"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."

"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."

Why did the woman feel ugly?

A. Nobody would even rape her.