Self-esteem jokes

What’s the difference between a loser and a paper?

A girl actually dates the paper.

Josh: Tell me something funny.

Mark: My life.

If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.

Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"

Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"

Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."