Seen jokes

My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.

Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.

Once you’ve seen a shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.

Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.

I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.

What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?

Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.

Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.

A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.

First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."

Have you ever seen the Pokemon called Ryh... Rhydon these nuts?

Have anyone seen my balls? I can't find them on my chest.

Hey! My balls are on your thing!

Ever seen twins?

If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?

Hello people. I've seen your jokes are as immature as hell. Keep going with those jokes, people. We might earn the funniest jokes on this website.

So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.

Alex Stokes says, "Kat, I've seen you eat many foods!"

Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.

Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.

Hi!!!! So it has been a very long time, and I have seen that your jokes have been becoming more and more inappropriate.

Guys, you don't need to be inappropriate to be cool! You are awesome if you like school, and even if you are gay, or anything in the LGBTQ+ category. #PRIDE

Anyway, I myself am not LGBTQ+, but I don't think people who are should get shamed for it. I love you guys, and stay positive!!!

A bird was on a branch at school today. I turn away to talk to my friends, and another bird was there when I turned around. I turn around again, and the birds are having fucking sex!!!

What the fuck.

Now I've seen everything.

Have you ever seen a blind man swim?

Neither has he.