Seen jokes
Have you seen my uncle?
Jesus: I have.
God: Me too.
Have you seen all the pants with crazy designs on them? I mean, britches be crazy!
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
Answer: The future.
Have you seen the Justin meme?
Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?
Just-in time for deez nuts.
Bruh.
But actually, it's a parody.
Wait, actually?
Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).
I’ve seen more life in a trampled garden gnome than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.
Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!
I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.
Q: Why are flat-earthers seen so many these days? A: Because one girl wore an earth-printed shirt.
My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.
Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
Parent: Have you seen your sister?
Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
You know what's crazy? Is that the low taper fade, like, meme, is still MASSIVE. Still MASSIVE. Like, I'm still seeing like, new ones, that I've never seen before, and they're getting millions of likes and millions of views.
Have anyone seen my balls? I can't find them on my chest.
Hey! My balls are on your thing!
Have you ever seen the Pokemon called Ryh... Rhydon these nuts?
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot Pakistan has ever seen, Allahu Akbar!
So my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child. I was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me. I was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friend's uncle killed my dad.
The kid was never seen again. Her name was Madeleine McCann. I think I'm the only one who knows where she is, but overall the head from the hooker was good.