Seen jokes
Slept in my Rocky Horror T-shirt, woke up and seen blue skies through the tears in my eyes.
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
Q: Why are flat-earthers seen so many these days? A: Because one girl wore an earth-printed shirt.
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.
I’ve seen more life in a trampled garden gnome than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.
I got barred from Weight Watchers today.
It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.
50 Thumbs up for 10 jokes you´ve never seen!
Have you seen the Justin meme?
Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?
Just-in time for deez nuts.
Bruh.
But actually, it's a parody.
Wait, actually?
Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
Answer: The future.
Have you seen my uncle?
Jesus: I have.
God: Me too.
I've seen more depth in a kiddie pool than in BLESSEDBRIAN’s jokes.
TRUE STORY!
X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen.
I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her!
Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.
What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.
I'm having lunch on the roof of the Twin Towers, and the biggest plane I've ever seen is flying toward...
What did the dentist say to the butt?
"That's the largest cavity I've ever seen!"