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See jokes

Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.

Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."

Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?

Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.

God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.

People of Earth: *running and screaming*

Santen: *to God* Really?

What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.

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  • What do you do if you see an Indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of Indian culture.

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  • Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.

    Roses are red, the grass is greener, when I see you, I play with my wiener.

    Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.

    Man, your hairline is so far back, archaeologists couldn't find it.

    One day, a man visited an orphanage.

    Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"

    The kid cries even harder.

    A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.

    “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

    The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”

    The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.

    “It’s really not your day, is it?”

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  • Short girl: "How do you see up there?"

    Tall guy: "Who said that?"

    I spit my drink out and then ran away.

    Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.

    "13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.

    "Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.

    "You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.