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The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.
People of Earth: *running and screaming*
Santen: *to God* Really?
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
What do you do if you see an Indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of Indian culture.
You're so bald, I rub your head to see into the future.
You're so bald, I can see what's on your mind.
When you see someone, you say, "Go suck bananas."
Your hairline is so deep people can see what you're thinking.
Do you see the toilet?
Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.
Roses are red, the grass is greener, when I see you, I play with my wiener.
Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.
Man, your hairline is so far back, archaeologists couldn't find it.
Yo mama so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work!
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
Maybe you should go on eBay to see if they have a life for sale.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
When you see a kid yelling and you wanna leave :(((((((
How do orphans see their family?
By looking at the mirror.
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.