See jokes

When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?

The only thing they can see are their chopsticks.

Why don’t you see gay orphans at a daycare?

They have no one to call "daddy."

How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.

Why did the man fall into a well? He couldn’t see that well.

A guy was doing bad things and died and went to hell.

Demon: Why you sad?

Guy: I’m in hell, can’t you see?

Demon: Well, we have fun here at hell.

Guy: Really? Nice.

Demon: We do sleeping in on Mondays.

Guy: OoOoOo

Demon: Tuesdays we swim in our lava or dive in fire. If you die, you’re already dead ☠️

Guy: Ok, does that mean I’m a ghost?

Demon: No, you're not a ghost.

Demon: Wednesdays we do a dance party and smoke and drink 🍺

Guy: Ooooooo, I can’t wait 😜

Demon: Thursdays we drink all day until we throw up and die, and you're already dead, remember that?

Guy: Ok, but I am dead, and if I die again, I was already dead, right?

Demon: Yup.

Demon: I have a question: Are you gay, and do you like kissing fire girls, and if you die, you are already dead?

Guy: Ummm, I am not gay, and I don’t like kissing fire girls 😱😱😱

Demon: Then you won’t like Friday or Saturday or Sunday, heheh.

Guy: I’m dead for real in the hell 🪦🏴‍☠️☠️☠️💀

Hell helll helll R.I.P hell is gone for now.

It was raining sadly all day. My wife, my two daughters, and me were stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died.

Wife: 😭😭😭I wish this never happened.

Mia, our first daughter: Mommy, it’s ok. I love whenever I see you🥰🥰

Abby, our second daughter: I love you all. Only if you guys die I won’t, but I love you when you're alive 😉😏

Me, husband: What kind of nonsense was that? You love us when we’re alive, but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓

Everyone except Abby: Abby, this is serious. Mommy’s mother and father died. Mia says: Yes, your mom is sadly down right now, you made her more sad😡🤬. Dad says: *sniffs* Abby, I had made a discussion. I will take you to an orphanage. I am sorry 😣 when I am better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back. Mom says:

This was not a joke. I just did this for Love 💕

Grass is green. I am the queen. If only I can see you scream on the screen.

Things that rhyme with green, queen, screen: clean, between, been, ...

Jack and Jill went up the hill so they can fetch some pee. Jack fell down and broke his whole body. Jill just laughed and didn’t care, so now they have a daughter.

People go to places to see Harry Potter live, but you can just go to the abortion place and see something disappear.

Noah

Why didn't the opening photo actually have a pic of sex on it? I have always wanted to see porn, too bad I have parents and a school Chromebook.

What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?

They both can't see their parents.

Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.

Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.

Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."

Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.

Casonthekraken

I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.

Doctor: Oh, I see.

Me: Ahhhh!!!!!