Season jokes
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
Why don't Mexicans like winter? They're afraid of ice.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked in the room, we missed three seasons of our show!
Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?
A: Snowballs.
Why did the snowman say, "Good day," to the sun?
Because it was afraid to melt away by the sun.
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower in summer?
"Are you ready for fall?"
This name makes me want to close season instead of open it.
My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.
Have a good summer!
What do you call an old snowman that survived till summer?...
Water... yup, water...
A blind man went to a restaurant.
"Menu sir?" asked the owner. "I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order." The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork and returned to the blind man.
The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, "Yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables." Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, "Do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part" which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, "Oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!"
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:
12 tap ins
11 pointless dribbles
10 fixed league titles
9 missed penalties
8-2
6 dives
500 million robbed from Barca
4 UCL semi losses
3 times he blamed Higuain
2 retirements
And a transfer to a farmers league.
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
When it's cold outside, men can cut ice in three places.
I love autumn!
What do you call a snowman that lives in Halloween? Snoween!
I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.