Season jokes
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
What falls first, the emo or the leaf? The leaf. The emo was hanging.
Why do emos love the winter? Because of the long sleeves.
"I wish I was either Christmas lights or a mistletoe."
"Why?"
"Because I want to hang!"
Why was Santa happy?
'Cause he has hoes.
Is your name winter? Because you’ll be cumming soon.
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
Because he only comes once a year.
Why is Santa’s sack so big?
Because he only comes once a year.
Why is there a big old gay parade on one of the first days of summer?
Pride always cometh before the fall.
My brother can't wait for spring... he wet his plants!
Why do leaves change color in the fall?
Because they want to leaf their old color.
To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.
Why is there no open hunting season on hippies?
Have you ever tried to clean one?
Where did Sally go during the summer? Swimming.
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
Why don't Mexicans like winter? They're afraid of ice.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked in the room, we missed three seasons of our show!
Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁