Why is Santa's sack always full?
Because he only comes once a year.
Is your name winter? Because you’ll be cumming soon.
The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.
Why was Santa happy?
'Cause he has hoes.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
Lil' Seasoning
A blind man went to a restaurant.
menu sir? asked the owner. I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order. The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork, and returned to the blind man. The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables. Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!
What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?
Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.
I was walking by the gun shop earlier and saw everything was 40% off. I didn't know back to school sales were already starting.
Ur hairline is like a Fortnite map at the start of a new season waiting to be identified.
while i was waiting for your mum to waddle past i missed a whole season on my tv show
yo mama so fat, when she passed by the tv I missed a whole season of SpongeBob
I put the Christmas balls in my sack.
Why did the snowman melt?? It had a melt down! 😭😭
To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.
It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!
You keep your quality beans for the right season till you realize that you planted them on the infertile land.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
"I wish I was either Christmas lights or a mistletoe."
"Why?"
"Because I want to hang!"
Why do emos love the winter? Because of the long sleeves.
